We’ve already established that sometimes architecture is a mindfuck; full of small details and tiny decorative flourishes straight from the uncanny valley of WTF. This little oddity is from the Don Lee Building at 1000 Van Ness Avenue in San Francisco. Built in 1919 as a Cadillac showroom, this neoclassical building contains all manner of fanciful human and humanoid figures. The above image, a repeating element on the entryway columns, combines two common decorative flourishes: a cherub/putto with a swag/festoon/garland. But why is the garland coming from it’s mouth?Is it eating? Is it vomiting? Is it spitting? Is it inhaling? Is it blowing air kisses? Is it taking a breathalyzer test? Is it practicing oral sex techniques? Is it reenacting the spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp? Why exactly does a disembodied and desexed figure, designed to invoke the greatness of Western Civilization, have so many decidedly abject bodily connotations going on? Why indeed…

SSSHHHHHHH I'm pretending to be architecture.